better to love and lost, than never love at all.

i can see you.
but is it true?
i want to believe you.
who i trust tells me to just be through.
i know it's true.
why cant i believe it?
i dont want to.
i know you bring me down.
i like it on your level, though.
there i can be me.
i dont have to think
just be.
i escape reality.
but what's real
is true.
truth is more happiness
than this fake love.
ecstasy, euphoria isnt
the equation.

you are a misfortune.
adversity follows you, or the other way around.
but i still care.
i want to show you,
you are amazing.
i can see it, even if no one else does.
but you wont be all you can,
not even a fourth.
i wish you knew, you dont have to take the easy way out.
but i cant change you.
youll probably just change me.
we'll part and go our intrinsic ways.
i have to be what i am, or what i can.
but you are amazing, i wasnt lying.

ahh breakups

you got to love spending every year with someone different and than breaking up and doing it all over again. god, does this hopeless cycle ever end. This time was pretty bad though. ever wonder how you could be so blinded and jaded due solely to a significant other, if you will. It's amazing how some one else can consume your self-control, and discipline, and make you even complacent in this so-called relationship. you really get a reality check once you abrubtly end this situation, a year later, after surrounding yourself only with this person of your "dreams."


what is ReAliTy?
What is the TRUTh?
Who can you Trust?
What is TRUE Love? these questions are all normal to think after ending such an involved relationship. so im not too worried. just sick of making the same mistakes. and its been two weeks anyways. so, im not too bothered, more reflecting and coming to the same realizations i have come to each year previous. however, this time the answer came immeadiately, so i guess i must be better at recognizing patterns and accepting the situation for what it is, and not dwelling on petty bullshit. oh well just wanted to vent, because i havent even let myself reflect on the matter, seeing as i was trying to get through the hardest week as easy as possible. ok im done.

un vita un amore. ha what a joke.